Planning for Holiday Parenting Time: Key Considerations for Co-Parents

As the holidays are approaching, many co-parents face the challenge of navigating parenting time during the school break. The festive period, filled with family gatherings, traditions, and celebrations, can be a joyful time—but it can also be stressful for separated or divorced parents who need to coordinate schedules. To help ensure a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season for both you and your children, here are some essential considerations to keep in mind.

  1. Review Your Existing Parenting Plan

If you already have a parenting plan or agreement in place, this is the first document you should review. Many parenting plans include specific provisions for holidays, including Christmas, New Year’s, and other special occasions. Make sure you understand what the agreement says about:

  • Holiday time-sharing schedules, including notice provisions
  • Pick-up and drop-off times
  • Location and transportation arrangements

If your parenting plan is vague or outdated, it may be worth discussing revisions with your co-parent or seeking legal advice to ensure the plan continues to be in the best interests of the Children.

 

  1. Plan Ahead and Communicate Early

The earlier you and your co-parent discuss holiday plans, the better. Open and respectful communication can prevent misunderstandings and reduce conflict. When discussing the holiday schedule, consider:

  • Sharing plans well in advance: Giving the other parent ample notice allows for adjustments if needed.
  • Being flexible: Life can be unpredictable, especially during the holidays. Be open to changes that benefit everyone, especially the Children.
  • Putting agreements in writing: To avoid confusion, document your agreed-upon holiday schedule in writing, preferably via email.

 

  1. Prioritize the Children’s Best Interests

The holiday season is meant to be a joyous time for children, so keep their happiness and well-being at the forefront of any discussions. Think about what will make the holidays special for them, including:

  • Maintaining traditions: Try to preserve familiar traditions or create new ones that the children can look forward to each year.
  • Avoiding conflict in front of the children: Tensions between parents can negatively affect children’s holiday experience. Aim to create a peaceful atmosphere by keeping disagreements private.
  • Do not speak negatively about the other parent in front of or in the presence of the children: In a social gathering or family get together, you may be encouraged to complain or vent about your co-parent. Do not take the bait! If the children overhear this, it will be very upsetting for them.

 

  1. Consider Alternating or Splitting Holidays

There are several ways to divide holiday parenting time, depending on what works best for your family. Some common examples include:

  • Alternating holidays: One parent has the children for Christmas Eve one year, while the other has them on Christmas Day, then switching the following year.
  • Splitting the day: If parents live close to each other, they might split the holiday, with one parent having the children in the morning and the other in the afternoon.
  • Sharing holidays together: In rare cases, some co-parents are able to celebrate holidays together for the sake of their children. This option works best when both parents have an amicable relationship.

 

  1. Be Mindful of Travel and Logistics

If holiday plans involve travel, additional logistics need to be considered. Plan for potential complications, such as:

  • Travel restrictions: If long-distance travel is required, make sure to check any travel advisories or restrictions, especially during busy holiday periods.
  • Coordination of travel expenses: Discuss who will cover travel costs if the children need to fly or take a long road trip to spend time with one parent.
  • Keeping children informed: Preparing your children for travel by explaining schedules and expectations can help ease any anxiety they might have.

 

  1. Prepare for Potential Changes

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, holiday plans may need to be adjusted due to unforeseen circumstances like illness or weather disruptions. To avoid stress:

  • Have a backup plan: Consider creating a “Plan B” for the holidays, so both parents know what to do if the original plan falls through.
  • Remain flexible: Being open to last-minute changes shows goodwill and can set a positive tone for future co-parenting interactions.

 

  1. Seek Mediation or Legal Assistance if Necessary

If you and your co-parent are struggling to reach an agreement, consider seeking the help of a mediator or a family law professional. Mediation can be a constructive way to resolve disputes without going to court, while legal assistance may be necessary if you need to modify an existing custody agreement.

 

  1. Keep the Focus on Joy and Positivity

Holidays can be a challenging time for separated families, but it’s also an opportunity to create new memories and traditions with your children. Try to focus on making the holiday season as enjoyable and stress-free as possible for them. This might mean letting go of past conflicts, showing flexibility, or finding ways to co-parent amicably during this special time of year.

If you have any questions about co-parenting during the upcoming holiday season, the lawyers at YSM Family Law would be happy to help you.